


History is a lie !

by Drumthis



Category: Da Vinci's Demons
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26141467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drumthis/pseuds/Drumthis
Summary: Guests on the set of a very serious YouTube channel, Lorenzo de' Medici, Zoroaster da Peretola and Giròlamo Riario drive the unfortunate host of the show crazy.
Relationships: Leonardo da Vinci/Girolamo Riario
Comments: 3
Kudos: 1





	History is a lie !

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [« L’histoire est un mensonge... »](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21561970) by [Drumthis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drumthis/pseuds/Drumthis). 



One of the guests, the main guest, the Mayor of Florence "himself", had sat his majestic ass on the seat assigned to him, the middle one, and was waiting like an obedient child for the other two to join him, so as to begin a debate of the utmost importance.

But the other two...

Zoroaster da Peretola, a famous street entertainer and educator, was trying to escape the third guest, who was desperate to tear off one by one the multicoloured sequins from Zoroaster’s extravagant costume.

"One more! One more! I want a blue one, Zo!" Giròlamo Riario shouted, while the fugitive was running through everything like a frightened hen, insulting him with the savoury insults learned on the field or invented by him.

This was a disaster!

Never before had Professor Riario, teaching theologyat the university, been seen to act in such an extravagant way. To the contrary, only his students considered him "hot", to use their term. The effect he had on the common or the less common mortal was the opposite: chilly as an iceberg that would have awoken on the wrong shore of its Arctic Ocean.

\- "Fuck, Riario!"Da Peretola shouted, "This bloody suit cost me a month's salary to rent! You filthy pest pill! Sinister sacristy cunt!"

Finally, probably out of breath, the educator collapsed on the seat provided for him. His pursuer seemed to catch a hint of what he was doing in this studio and shouted to the YouTuber: "Ah! you're here? what are we still waiting for?"

He primmed up his Armani costume - a slim-fitting Mao collar jacket with engraved buttons, straight pants, all in black - but let araven-coloured lock of his — oh-so-long! — fringe play with his eyelashes...

From then on, the YouTube guy could see and think of nothing else and, under hypnosis, stumbled, addressing Lorenzo de’ Medici : "We are happy to bury you, gorgeous mayor of Florence!"

Lorenzo stared at him, the other two laughed, the man realized his blunder: "P... Par... Pardon... It is with great pleasure that we embrace you... welcomeyou to this per... to this discussion."

Meanwhile, Riario's hair was still fluttering along with the beating of his eyelashes.

Freaky mesmerizing !

But then, on top of this, he spoke too !

"Il Magnifico returns the compliment, Sir YouTuber... Although he thinks it's a bit hot on this set.

\- Not at all... De’ Medici began.

\- Remind us of the themes of the debate, would you? ... Repeated eyelashes flaps, gravelly voice and the biggest smile in his repertoire. Riario at the top of his flirt attitude.

\- The v... the voice of... of...

Zoroaster cut in:

\- Damn it! Have you all snorted or what? The theme is "the place of spirituality in the..."

\- That's right! That's right, Zo! Still, it's a little hot on this set, don't you think ?

\- Not at all... started the Mayor.

\- Right ! "Spirituality in the avant-garde work of the Dada faction of orphan painters" ! ... Yet I'm thirsty!

Lorenzo was one step away from bloodshed:

\- Shut up, Riario, you vile Roman snake !

Without dismounting whatever he was on, Riario grinned at him and, with surprising liveliness, got up to go and kiss him on the mouth.

Overturned chairs, microphones swept from the table... The theologian took advantage of the tumult to approach the educator and peck two other small sequins from his jacket.

\- Fucking shitty nougat ass!"

The punch surprised everyone and some security guys invaded the set to neutralize Zoroaster and evacuate as fast as possible this eighth circle of hell.

***

"It's gone viral," Leonardo da Vinci said that night, stunned, eyes glued to the staggering count of likes posted on the online video.

Giròlamo had come down. With his face hidden in his hands, he didn't even dare to look in the face of the men he met every day, namely his companion and the latter's cumbersome friend, Zo, who hadn't quite recovered from his rage yet:

"A month's salary, to rent this fucking suit!

\- It wasn't worth it," Riario whispered through his fingers, "but I already promised to pay you back.

\- Ha! "It wasn't worth it," Zo mimed... Not everyone has to like the undertaker look, Mr Snakeface Wanker!

\- Zo! Leo pleaded, with a sharp look.

\- Yeah... Right ! Don't bully da Vinci's beloved nightmare... But you could tell me what you were on, Count, occasionally, I'd like to have a try at it. Fuckabilly* !, what a trip!

Riario finally raised his head:

\- I. Took. Nothing! How many times do I have to repeat it!

\- It's not possible, Leo said... He put a hand on his friend's knee: tell us everything. Literally everything that happened before this afternoon, and in detail.

Giròlamo sighed.

\- I've already replayed all the events in my head! I drank, ate, and did everything I drink, eat, and do each and every day, seeing the same p... Ah!, no, there was that guy, at the end of my class... Rather sexy, you would have liked him, especially you, Zo, he was dressed in the oriental style... He showed me a rare coin, with what looked like a skull and crossbones... I don't remember exactly what he told me, just his conclusion, he said : "History is a lie"...

\- And he spun the coin around on its edge! Leo said, in no more than a whisper.

\- Do you know him?

\- The Sons of Mithras ... less dangerous than the Enemies of Man, but still pretty damn dangerous. Get ready for a change in your life, Rio!

\- Yes, well, my life has already changed, I'll remind you: I lost my job and I became a star on the Internet!

\- And... you Frenchkissed** Lorenzo de' Medici, to the greatest entertainment of millions of YouTubers! Zoe reminded him.

Giròlamo raised his right palm to his feverish forehead:

\- Oh, no! I didn't do THAT?

\- You did! And for this, Clarice Orsini might well grab you to cut off your balls and eat them poached for breakfast! Zo laughed. My most sincere condolences, guys! »

**Author's Note:**

> * and ** Zoroasterial neologisms.


End file.
